I'd always regard my job as an entertainer because it's the only thing that keeps my mind busy. Having nothing to do is the last thing I would want in the office. Keeping my mind at work is like smoking weeds. lolz. Well, keeping a busy mind is keeping it away from wandering. Inevitably, however, time would let you do nothing at all. On moments like "nothing-to-do-anymore", I surf the internet and read on course materials just so that my manager sees me doing work-related research when in fact I am facebooking. lolz. Seriously though, I need to feed my brain with knowledge, but mind me, I hate reading! After I read a paragraph or two, my mind wanders elsewhere or my eyes gets heavy everytime. I often end up daydreaming or pinching myself so not to get sleepy. This is also my case when reading books and for the same reason why I hate books! One can only persuade me to read a book if it has pictures in it. Yes, I am a visual person. When my friend offered her bible to me, I was hesitating to accept it thinking I won't be able to comprehend it. As she was handing it to me, she assured me that God will teach me how to read and that I should give it a try, then, she made me swear to read the bible even just for one sentence a day. I even joked around reading the first-three words in front of her saying, "In the beginning..." and she told me to read more, which says, "In the beginning was the Word…". lolz. I can't forget that moment. Surprisingly, despite that I hate reading, the bible helped me in disciplining my mind. At times when boredom seems to be overwhelming, I open the bible and continue reading from the last passage I stopped. At times when my mind starts to wander, I read the bible. At times when I'm out of focus, I read the bible. Eventually, I'm all awake and am back on track. This afternoon, as I was doing nothing again for the life of me, I remember another friend whom I once told that I hate reading. He recommended reading on Joyce Meyer's articles for she is his favorite Christian author. And so, I googled her name and came across her articles. So much for hating to read, I've read three of her articles now and am interested in reading for more! lolz. My fave article so far is her "I've Got My Mind Made Up!". She talked about the changing condition of the mind and how to deal with it by discipline. Although the article tackles more about decision-making, the core lesson still is disciplining the mind to concentrate on what's at hand. I find Meyer's article helpful on how to deal with a wandering mind. At first, I related it to my habit of reading and my complaint of boredom, but in the end, I came into a realization that it wasn't just through reading that my mind often wanders. For the past three months, I've been struggling. I've been out of focus. I’ve made decisions that set my heart to confusion - some of them, impulsive, and some of them, even, were carefully thought of. I’ve made choices that shed tears. These happened because of my mind allowing it to think anything it wants to think of and decide on what it wanted. These decisions, however, are not regrettable decisions. My personality depicts that in making a wrong decision, do not regret but learn from it. On the other hand, even so that I do not regret such acts of indecisive choices, I still need to discipline myself to allow my mind to think only of what’s necessary. I still need to control the things it wants to think of. I still have the duty to guard my thoughts against uncertainties. All of these I conquered day-by-day! My weapon? The bible. What more can you do for a wandering mind if not to face and fight against it. To what Meyer had said, “your mind just needs to be disciplined”, let me just add, “by reading the bible”.

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