i've witnessed a lot of relationships fail among my friends and relatives not because of the absence of love but because couples failed to maintain the level of relationship they had since they started loving each other. in my 8-year failed relationship (yes it was long and still is fresh), i failed because i lost interest of maintaining the love that my partner and i had for 8 years. now, i get to realize why i failed, or should i say why we failed.

maturity. like it or not, maturity affects the relationship big time! often than not, a relationship fails because the other party thinks too narrow like a 7-year old kid. people say that the level of maturity of men is equal to the level of maturity of women at least four years younger than their age - which i strongly disagree. age does not reflect the maturity of a person, experience does. as individuals, we encounter new experiences everyday. how we deal with those experiences will mold us to the mature person we ought to be. as couples, its advisable that you deal with these experiences together so that both parties grow to be mature individuals together. however, in reality, we cannot avoid the fact that the other party matures first before the other. that's because one party deals with a different level of personal experience that he/she needs to face on his/her own, and so, the other party is left lack of experience and not ready to mature. if you notice that your partner thinks differently as he/she used to be, you might want to check on your maturity.

no constant communication. communication plays a vital role in a relationship. it ties two individuals together building a solid foundation of trust and understanding. without constant communication, the relationship starts to fall apart. communication does not just mean talking. communication also means listening! if you haven't communicated with your partner for a while, there should be something wrong in your relationship.

dishonesty. aha! this one really upsets me. honesty is always the best policy. if you want your relationship to get going, be honest! always! if you're dishonest to your partner, you're only proving that you are not worthy of his/her trust. "i don't want a fight that's why i'm being dishonest" is bull. dishonesty may seem to be a small thing but it will always stay in the relationship and will grow in time - which will cause a bigger fight. check yourself when you're being dishonest to your partner. ask yourself, "would it be fair for my partner if i stay dishonest?"

distrust. distrust is a consequence of dishonesty. usually, distrust comes to play when there is betrayal. and again, dishonesty is an example of betrayal! ehehe.. for me, trust is the most important value that a couple should maintain. without trust, there is no love. once you distrust your partner or he/she to you, it is difficult to build that trust again, so be careful with each other's trust.

lack of understanding. one should understand that women thinks differently from men and vice versa. one should know the limits of each other. trying to understand your partner is a key to a healthy relationship. when one party fails to understand the other, how can he/she expects the other party to understand him/her? understanding takes a lot of effort to fulfill. its easy to say you understand each other but you never do until you're caught up into a difficult situation. acceptance would be a good start in understanding your partner.

different set of goals. this is very popular in romantic movies. when the movie starts, the couple would separate because their goals and dreams differ from each other. at the end, they end up with each other's arms because they found out that their goals and dreams cannot be fulfilled without one another on each other's side. sadly, these are just movies. in reality, when a couple have different set of goals, its hard for them to plan ahead for their future. why? because they have conflict of interests that one party could not agree with. i personally think that a relationship would really fail if there is no direction set for the relationship. i suggest that before jumping into a relationship, ask what your motives are for having the relationship and set goals not only for yourself but for you and your partner.

long distance. i'd always believe that long distance relationship never works out and it never did for me. ehehe.. they say, "distance makes the heart grow fonder"; i say, "distance makes the heart lose its value". so if you want to take the risk of going long distance and leaving your partner behind, think a million times!

these are just some of the factors that affect the relationship. are these true for all? i don't know, but these are existing factors i know why i failed. i'm not saying that just because my relationship failed for these reasons it would also fail for you - it still depends on how strong your relationship's foundation is and how you manage it.

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