"i made instant decisions without asking for His consent."
Recently, I've been dealing with this as well. My decision making did not include Him, so it ended up hurting others as well as myself.
God's heart is described by Jesus in the parable of the prodigle son. Many people read it, and think the main idea is about the son who departs from his family and squanders his inheritance from the father. But the main focus is really on the father (God), and his response when the son realizes he is wrong and comes home.
You can tell that the father is constantly looking into the horizon to see if the son comes back. When he finally sees his son, he runs to the son. (he could have waited for the son to come all the way to the house). He throws a party and doesn't make the son feel guilty by asking questions. The main emotion is that of love and joy from the mere fact that the son came back!
Indeed, our Father's grace and mercy is free and undeserved. To fully honor Him, it's helpful to remember to look at situations from God's perspective. From his perspective right now, He sees us through Christ, who paid the price for us and allows us to come before God. "Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace to receive mercy and grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16
I'm praying that you'll accept and understand God's grace that we all don't fully understand. You'll start to understand that because of what Christ did for us, there is no more reason to be afraid, but that we can come to our Father in confidence!
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| God's love |
| Written by prettynerd |
| Wednesday, 03 February 2010 11:10 |
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last monday, emily, my chinese workmate, one who's closest to me, asked me, "how often do you go to church?" i answered, "i go to church every sunday except for the last two weeks." knowing what was going on with me for the past weeks she replied, "why didn't you go to church lately?" "i just don't feel like it," i said, trying to avoid the conversation. then out of the blue, she ended the conversation saying, "God will miss you if you stop going to church." most if not all other chinese, does not know God. emily, on the other hand, asks about God but haven't had a chance to go to church. the churches here in china are controlled by the government and most are offlimits to chinese locals. i did not expect emily to tell me that God will miss me. for the past weeks, i have been rebelling against God. i have been blaming Him for my loneliness. i stopped going to church. i stopped reading my bible. i made instant decisions without asking for His consent. i've done everything to avoid His presence. and now this??? a person who does not even know who God is tells me that He will miss me. and i guess He already misses me. when i go to church, i sing the worship songs on top of my lungs wanting God to hear me loud and clear. i guess God misses that. He miss me singing for Him very very loud. =) the point is, i am being the rebellious child that i am and i reject everything God is telling me, and yet, He still wants me to be with Him. excuse me for saying, "WTF?!!! are You insanely out of Your mind?!!! do You really love me that much?!!! why can't You just punish me instead of loving me?!!!" i started my new year reading daily devotions by joyce meyer. for the past weeks, i stopped reading the bible but i didn't stop reading daily devotions. i can't explain why. this morning, the daily devotion is about "receiving forgiveness." as i've read through the words, i understood that no matter how bad i could get from committing sin, if only i ask God's forgiveness, i am forgiven - which i also have yet to receive. even so when i don't ask for His forgiveness, He does not turn His back on me rather He waits for my plea. and even more when i turned my back on Him (these days), He still managed to tell me He misses me. confused, guilt and ashamed are what i am feeling now. God's love is too much for me to bear thinking i don't deserve such. all my life, i have been exposed to human love, which is so less compared to God's love. now i'm struggling how to accept God's love for i am capable only to receive less. it's hard to receive God's love. it's hard to receive His forgiveness. it's hard to receive His grace.
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